Arrested for Gross Stupidity
A man convicted of selling child pornography was released on parole. During a meeting with his parole officer, he mentioned that he had a website.

The parole officer later took a look at the site, where he found — you guessed it — child pornography. The moron is back in the big house now. And we wonder why our jails are so full.

Crushed Cracker
A would-be safe cracker was crushed to death when a 600-pound safe fell on him. It seems he and his partner were unable to open the safe on the premises and attempted to steal it.

However, that proved problematic: The safe was not on the ground floor. While moving the heavy safe down the stairs, the strongbox got away from them. The hapless robber on the low side wound up on the wrong side. And the contents of the safe? Legal documents, worthless to the two crooked cretins.